Before I became the massive A-list celebrity star that I am now, I did some background work in New York when I was taking Improv 101 at a little known pyramid scheme called The Upright Citizens Brigade. The most notable project I worked on was Nick and Nora’s infinite playlist, where I played a person attending Michael Cera’s band’s show at a cool, Brooklyn bar. After debasing myself to that extent, you might think I would have run screaming from the entire movie industry, but actually it was kinda fun. I learned a lot, mostly about the hierarchy of important people on set, and what it feels like to be at the very bottom. Being a great background actor literally means you completely fade into the background, and that can be a little dehumanizing. The upper echelons of the call sheet really do treat you like set dressing, because in a sense, you are. Most background players are cool with this. It’s a pretty good temp job, especially if you live somewhere where there are laws about paying people living wages. Honestly the very worst part is getting stuck acting with another background actor who is unhinged. Many times you will be clumped in groups of two or three and you have to be on set with these people all day, and while filming you have to idiotically pretend to have conversations, or dance to different non-existent beats with them without making any noise at all. I had to do it the other day for a scene where D’arcy is hanging out at the bar, and TBH I was blown away by the skill of the two actors I was mime-talking to. They were subtle and deft and ultra consistent, even though it feels like you are having a stroke while you are sitting across from someone who is also having a stroke. The whole thing is so awkward. You’re also not supposed to talk to the principal (featured guest or series regulars or “stars”) actors unless spoken to, like some kind of serf. I hated that feeling when I was doing background work and I’m aware of how uncomfortable it must be, even for professionals. which to be crystal clear, I was NOT.
One obvious reason for not interacting with principal actors during filming is that there is almost no moment, especially these days, when you’re on a hot set and you’re not being given notes about performance, or where to stand, where to look, or being touched or handed things by a hundred different departments. Principal actors are busy and often take any precious spare moment to ready themselves for the next take or scene. They really don’t give you time to rehearse anymore unless you’re in a prestige TV show or a movie with a Hemsworth in it. Also, it’s a slippery slope. If one background actor starts up a conversation with anyone on set, everyone starts talking, it’s just human. And then all the people who have to talk about lights and flags and shit can’t hear each other and it slows you down, and then Tom Paris from Voyager comes in and YELLS at you and you are inexplicably turned on.
So, keep all that in mind for the following anecdote: There is what one might call a featured background actor who frequently appears on a certain set. I know him well enough for him to say hello to me, and for me to not recognize him completely but smile vaguely when he does so, one time. That kinda thing, which is fine, because I have only worked with him a handful of times and he has only had direct contact with me once before. So during a moment when there wasn’t too much going on, and I wasn’t being noted or touched up, he asked me, “Hey Alice, can I ask you something? Do you do your own replies and things for your social media?” I pretended to be very distracted and annoyed by something happening to my left and just said “No.” Now, chat, we know this isn’t true. I run my own discord. I love talking with the people who appreciate what I do, in general. But I knew that if I spoke the truth when he asked me that there would inevitably be follow up questions. And after that first one, hoo boy, did I not want to interact with this person at all. To be fair, to me, this guy hasn’t been the best background actor. He’s been spoken to before about making a meal out of moments he needed to keep it moving so the scene could progress with the proper rhythm. But as I walked away from that interaction, I became actually resentful, and for the rest of the day it stuck in my craw. My craw guys, and not in a caramel corn way where you are remembering how good that Chicago mix was. I get that there was no malice to his question, and maybe it seems like a fair enough ask to some of you. Maybe he wanted to network with me, or he’s a fan of my work, and wanted to chat. I don’t think that’s bad! Like I said, I don’t feel super comfortable with the weird hierarchy that the call sheet dictates. But here is what it felt like for me, the other person in that exchange: I felt violated. I know, the big V! Look, as much as I don’t want to assign ill intention to someone who was just shootin’ the proverbial shit, I simply must fortify the boundaries on who has access to my personal space both online and IRL. I have learned the hard way what happens when I don’t. Also, I have been stalked, I have been assaulted, and that is not because I am a famous-ish person or I let some fan talk to me for too long at a convention. It’s because I possess the other big V. See what I did there? Brought it all full circle for ya. Anyway, I think because of my lighting-quick instincts that I have developed over my many vagina-having decades, I did the math on what he was communicating to me. “Hello, I have combed through your social media and I would like to know how much access a person on the internet-public has to you. In addition, I feel that we are on good enough terms that I no longer count as internet public, and so you can tell me what’s really going on.” And yeah, no you don’t, essentially random person I barely know. No, you don’t. While mulling this over I realized that this wasn’t one of those “Would you ask a man this question?” it was more of a “If you had asked this question to a man, he might be annoyed, but he would not feel violated.” Probably. IDK, as established, not a man. But if a woman had asked me this question, I would have answered truthfully. If a woman had asked me this I would simply be flattered, not threatened and uncomfortable, because the odds of this interaction turning into a whole thing are statistically zero. She could be opening that conversation in hopes of becoming best friends with me, or being lesbian lovers, but either way, she’s not going to bother me anymore if I turn her down. That’s because she KNOWS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN THE OPPOSITE HAPPENS. Men, this is for you. If you haven’t started imagining what it feels like to be victimized all the time, you need to start. I know why you don’t, because it sucks, but you need to do it. Like, even once a week. Look at a woman you see somewhere and think “Statistically, that person has either been harmed or has comforted someone close to her who has been harmed by a man. What must that be like to live that way? Wow, also, those are cool shoes.” Or whatever. The goal here is not understanding, it is the attempt at understanding that matters. You’re not going to walk a mile in that lady’s shoes, cool as they are. You can, however, prioritize her comfort and safety by just knowing that her path is in many ways drastically different from yours.
